Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My daughter was brutally murdered

In 1977, my eldest child - a daughter of eighteen, was brutally murdered by her husband (suspected--but never proven), and I was devistated. He had gotten her into the drug scene and later into prostitution. As a christian I had been praying for God to intervene, and when she was killed I blamed God and was angry at Him, feeling He could have prevented this--but didn't. For years I was plagued with all the question--why-why did this happen, why didn't God answer my prayers, why wasn't there justice. I prayed and prayed but could not find any peace. I began drinking and became an alcoholic and my husband who at the time was in the ministry, could not help me. One day God began dealing with me on His "unconditional love" and opened up my understanding as to its meaning. Not only this, but also His unconditional forgiveness. St. Luke 6:37 says "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemed: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:" I was able to turn all my anger, fear and resentments over to God at that point and the sweetest peace swept over me. I still have sadness when I remember all this, yet God is always present and I am able to let go. His love is sufficient. Thanks for letting me share.

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