One day, a Mechanical Engineer, a Civil Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer and a Software Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.The car broke down.The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a car broke. We can check the car."The ivil Engineer said, "I think a road broke. We can check the roads."The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas. We shall check the gas tank."The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system. We shall check the circuitry."All three turned to the Software engineer and said, "What do you think?"------------The Software Engineer said, "We shall get out of the car and get in Again." (Logout and Login)
Real College girl Story
Posted by Writer at 11:53 PM
This is a real story of a young college girl whopassed away last month in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.You can never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed her phone from Hutch to Airtel , so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.She spends half of the day talking with shankar.Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away shealways told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her father.He took a stick and started speaking to himselfslowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside thecasket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily.All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important." After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense".Then they show him the original death certificate to him.They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.Shankar was shaking.Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is fromPriya, see this...." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.All of them heard his conversation.Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no wayothers could use her sim card since it is nailed.Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same person's (who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter.He & his master worked for 5 hours.Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them...Airtel has the best coverage.Barriers break when people talk.
The Fence story
Posted by Writer at 11:53 PM
THE FENCEThere once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence….Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.The day passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. Remember, when you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
Packet of cookies ..
Posted by Writer at 11:52 PM
Packet of CookiesA Young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies. She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peaceBesides the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: “What a nerve! If i was in the mood i would punch him for darling!”. For each cookie she took, the man took one too.This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained, she thought: “ah.. What this abusive man do now?”. Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half.Ah!Thats was too much! She was too angry now!.In a huff, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened!She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong…..She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse. The man divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter.…While she had been angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself ..nor to apologize.There are FOUR things that you cannot recover.The Stone… …after the throw!The Word… …after it’s said!The Occasion… …after the loss!The Time… …after it’s gone!
Sonia Gandhi Funny Story
Posted by Writer at 11:52 PM
Once SONIA GANDHI, L.K. Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav weretravelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three ofthem died.Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.He asks Mrs GANDHI and Advani to go to HEAVEN.But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three ofthem had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused publicpositions, etc.Then why the differential treatment?He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation beforea decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceivednotions.Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an Englishtest.Mrs GANDHI is asked to spell " INDIA " and she does it correctly.Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thusforced to fail with false intent.Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chanceassuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equalplatform for all three).Mrs GANDHI is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". She writes it easily andpasses.Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."Tough one. He fails again.Laloo is extremely unhappy.Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he nowrequested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in historyYama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not takeany more tests.Mrs GANDHI is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". She replied "1947" andpassed.Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000or 300,000.Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.It's Laloo's turn now.'''Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who diedin the struggle.Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE..... :-
Saturday, April 3, 2010
No God or Know God?
Posted by Writer at 7:48 PM
No God or Know God?An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem Science has with God, The Almighty.He asks one of his new students to stand and.....Prof: So you believe in God?Student: Absolutely, sir.Prof: Is God good?Student: Sure.Prof: Is God all-powerful?Student: Yes.Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm? (Student is silent.)Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?Student: Yes.Prof: Is Satan good ?Student: No.Prof: Where does Satan come from?Student: From...God.. .Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?Student: Yes.Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?Student: Yes.Prof: So who created evil?(Student does not answer. )Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?Student: Yes, sir.Prof: So, who created them?( Student has no answer.)Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?Student: No, sir.Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?Student: No, sir.Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.Prof: Yet you still believe in Him ?Student: Yes.Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has. Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?Prof: Yes.Student: And is there such a thing as cold?Prof: Yes.Student: No sir. There isn't.(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events .)Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat,But we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre .)Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't.If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?(The class is in uproar .)Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?(The class breaks out into laughter.)Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?(The room is silent . The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH .That is all that keeps things moving & alive...
Man in Hot air balloon
Posted by Writer at 11:18 AM
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.' The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude.''You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?''Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.'The man below says, 'You must be a project manager 'I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?''Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep,and you expect someone to solve your problem